If someone says your face looks like a prune, please don’t take offense.

If you have a macular hole and you get surgery on it, it is just a little bitty surgery. They don’t even put you all the way to sleep. Just numb your eyeball, suck out the vitreous fluid in the middle of your eye, repair the hole, shoot the cavity up with an air/gas bubble, and presto, you’re done. Except for one or two things. Depending on the mixture of gas and whether you’ve had cataract surgery before or not, you’re recovery will vary. With a weaker gas mixture that dissipates in about three weeks, you get to stay face down for a week. What’s fun about that? Well, what’s fun about that……surely there is something fun about that.

  1. You get a good look at you toes.
  2. If anybody’s lost money, you’ll be richer.
  3. Books, Ipad, laptops, crossword puzzles, and art supplies can all be place right beneath your nose.
  4. Maybe you’ll stretch your back muscles and downward dog will be easier from now on.

But, if none of this sounds fun to you, not to worry. You have another option. Get the cataract surgery first, then when that heals they can put a stronger mixture of the air/gas bubble and you don’t have to be face down at all. There are a few drawbacks to this option, too.

  1. It takes 8-10 weeks for the gas to dissipate.
  2. You have to sleep on your side, but not face down.
  3. You can’t go anywhere that your ears will pop because…..yes, you guessed it…..your eye could also respond to the added pressure and pop, too.

With either option, your eyesight is going to be compromised for a while, but with a macular hole, it is already. In the eye with the hole, you can see things in a very unique way. Straight parallel lines appear to go into the distance and meet in the middle like an hourglass. If only you could click that image and save it in I-photo, it would be fun to share with your friends. Faces are very funny to look at through a macular hole. Depending on where you look at the people, they can appear to shrivel up like a prune and their noses disappear into their mouths.

 I’d never heard of a macular hole before March 10. See what an education old age can bring. I am almost a doctor now. I wonder if there is a test you can take and if you pass it, they automatically give you your license to practice medicine, or at least be a consultant or something. I may have a new career budding. Elderly specialist. Marie Patty, El.S. or Doctor of Antiquities. D.A. but that might be confused with an attorney. Maybe, Ph.O. Marie, no maybe for this I should use my first name, Ethel.  Ethel M. Patty, Ph.O. Ethel sounds older than old, maybe prehistoric. I’ll go with that!

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